When did the act of writing become such a test?
When the mere thought of penning, leaves an ache in my chest
How is it that something I love to do so dearly
Leaves me feeling so hopeless, and yet still I wearily
Transcribe the short bits
Though none of them are hits
Day by treacherous day
I do hope that one
Out of all of the tons
Leaves me with deep satisfaction
So as just like a chemical reaction
It is as if the words are written on their own
As they flow from my pen and become known
Into the world for all to see
Surely there will be one which pleases me
And does not on my heart weigh
Oh day by treacherous day
Since the start of the summer, I found myself inflicted with a deep and seemingly irreversible writer's block. No matter how much I try and sit down to write, nothing seems to flow just right.
It is a battle with every word, every moment of punctuation, a gaping wound. I am fighting uphill, and the odds are stacked against me. I feel overwhelmed and outnumbered with no victory in sight. I am a lone soldier fighting with no companions or commander to guide me.
The once joyous days of training with friends seem now so far away. For we were dispersed, spread across the states, as the spring semester passed, and the summer holidays unfolded.
Where I was once motivated by the daily ongoings of campus life, I now lie alone, in my sweltering room, the days bleeding together to form a single, monotonous drone.
As I sit here in my stuffy little room, staring blankly at the blinking cursor on my computer screen, I long for those carefree moments. Those fragments lost to time, where I was enraptured by a piece and relinquished all sense of reality over to the ones and zeros of text conjured by fingers dancing across the keys.
I lack the inspiration to write, so here I sit, penning out my struggles in an attempt to get something flowing. I am not confident that anyone will read this (if you do, I commend you for getting this far in my ramblings).
Maintaining this blog is important to me, and if that means writing out some half-baked post once every few weeks or so, so be it. Any excuse to keep myself writing over these long, suffocating months until classes return.
Comments